I clicked the link, and the care package contains information and resources on hunting for an agent. Very practical, I'm sure, but I was disappointed when I saw that. I don't know what I was expecting, but sending someone a care package full of information feels like giving someone a hug made of homework.
So what would I put in a Pink Tea & Paper Care Package to Help You Secure an Agent?
- Two large boxes of teabags - one black tea, caffeinated as all hell, and one herbal tea. Maybe even pink tea, just because.
- A mug to make you smile through the difficult parts - perhaps this cheerful one, or if they still made them, the sadly departed Novelist Fuel mugs from Nanowrimo. Every year I suggest they be re-issued. They never are.
- A form query letter with blanks for your characters' names, title and word count. I want one of these so badly and my birthday isn't for another eleven months. . .
- A sheet of stamps, for agents and houses that still prefer paper submissions.
- A giant blanket with the word 'Hug' written on it.
- An inspiring A3-sized wall chart, listing famous writers and the number of rejections they received, with space at the bottom for the recipient to track their own progress against that of the greats.
- A framed print of the URLs of Pub Rants, Nathan Bransford, Miss Snark and Rachelle Gardner, designed for easy and stylish display in a study.
- More cake.
- A jar of hot chocolate mix (possibly the chilli-flavoured one from Whittards that I've been enjoying since last May).
- False nails, to conceal one's own bitten-down ones.
- A book of Sudoku puzzles, to distract writers waiting to see that alluring tease, 'Inbox (1)'.
- A Starbucks gift card, to give the struggling recipient an excuse to leave the house.
- A notebook for recording the journey - although most writers already have many notebooks, another one never hurts, right?
I reckon that would keep most agent-hungry writers happy (or at least happier) for a few days. Have I missed anything? Add your picks in the comments!