Thank you for all the birthday wishes, guys :D For your reading amusement, have some links:
This is simply hilarious. Nicola Morgan, the crabbit old bat, held a bad query contest some time ago and the results are great. I especially like If Only Your Neck Was Longer.
The BBC have published an article that suggests that we can feel younger physically using the power of our minds. The good news is I don't have to be 26 anymore if I don't want to. The other good news is that, even though Jennifer Aniston's production company is considering making a film about the retelling of this study, the BBC do not include any pictures of Ms. Aniston alongside their article, proving once again that the BBC is at the forefront of British journalism today :p